What a year. Fires, floods and now plague. Oil is no longer required, food has become more of a passion and yeast is non-existent. The NHS has become revered as never before and rainbows have taken on a Biblical connotation as they did when poor Noah and his crew were searching for a green shoot of hope.

Kindness means being apart, and John and I have joined all the others of our village as we tramp along the coastal path, pushing ourselves into the sprouting hawthorn to escape flying germs that may emit from our fellow walkers. I particularly don’t like joggers… they heave and pant and almost froth at the mouth.

Anyway we all watch the news, listen and despair at what is happening in the real world and marvel at the wonderful humour that sprouts happily from Facebook and social media. My friends Irene and Mike thought that a video walk around their house might cheer up the neighbours!

And we have heroes, in the form of Captain Tom and his gentle walk for the NHS. Strange dark days for all of us, and there is little to do, so we must just wait it out and pray that the virus doesn’t land on our door handle.

On a lighter note, I have done it again. I decided to put on two drops of my false tan lotion and thought I would mix it with the Argan oil I purchased in Morocco. I grabbed the bottles and mixed it all  up, only to discover that I put 2 drops of Argan into quite a handful of tanning liquid. It is starting to ‘work’ and already I have a healthy glow, and my teeth are amazingly white! Oh NO!

Yesterday I had the most horrendous experience. I have now had two horrendous experiences in my whole life. I shall reveal all. As you may know, Nick is still with us, for although he has recovered and he is walking and cycling to regain his fitness, he cannot return to Australia  for obvious reasons at the present time. The other night he was feeling a bit low so he took himself up the coastal path and sat under the big rock, beneath some trees and bushes where he proceeded to consider the stars and the moon and had deep thoughts.

The next day he was covered in ticks. They were tiny, miniscule things, and together we managed to tweezer them out – the ones we could see anyway. It is a little bit worrying as we have loads of deer wandering about here, so obviously we are concerned about Lyme disease etc  (Corona and Lime… quite a nice drink I believe).

The next day he went out again, and saw a couple of tiny black ticks wandering across his jacket and jeans. Needless to say the washing machine has been going flat out.

Well, yesterday he came through after sleeping, and was seriously distressed. There were five large ticks in his eye lashes and on the inside of his eyelid. It was so horrific. I took a deep breath and tugged them out… Oh God, it was horrible.

More washing, more vacuuming, more disinfectant.

The other horrific thing in my life was when Natasha (aged 12) had a snake called Flash. I couldn’t bear to touch him, so she did all the necessary cleaning and feeding etc. One evening she had him out for his evening fondling session, and I suddenly heard a scream. I ran through and  found Flash wrapped round her neck. I froze in horror… I just had to grab him and prize him off. It was  horrendous.

So – two nightmarish experiences to dwell on, as I drifted off to sleep last night.

I did do a divergence off the coastal path the other day, and followed an unused track through some pretty trees, and came across some very good graffiti. The two artists apparently keep it up to date, and the press came and took photos of a very good stag last year. All this I learnt as I took a breather a safe distance from a man with a can on a bench.

With this Coronavirus worrying us all the time, I decided to go through my camphor wood chest and burn all my long-ago letters and schoolgirl notes – just in case! It was so strange reliving the phases that were once so important.

‘I spent an hour this morning persuading Mummy to let me have nylons.’ Aged 12.

I found a receipt from a restaurant that marked a special dinner with a special beau. I could not believe the prices.

I had letters from an Australian boy that I corresponded with for years It was sort of poignant listening to the thoughts of a boy growing up, becoming a doctor, refusing to join up for the Vietnam War, and eventually becoming a very good psychiatrist.

I put them all in a large clay flowerpot and burnt the lot. It seemed better that these mementos should go. John tipped the ashes into the sea for me, but a strong inshore wind blew most of them all over him and into the neighbour’s garden.

The Pasqueflower bloomed as usual for Easter;

we ate duck and skyped and talked to Tasha and her family and Gerry with hers. We have been initiated into the world of Zoom, and we joined the nation doing quizzes and having group chats. It was truly delightful. I honestly felt as if we were all together in the lounge, it was just so spontaneous and ‘normal’.

Bonnie and Hazel have been climbing trees, and Dillon and Darcey are full of beans. I did call to see Gerry after doing a Tesco shop, and parked away from the house. I stood on the pavement while they leant out of an upstairs window for  chat. Darcey shouted from the window, ‘We can’t come out Granny as we are all diseased!!!’ I don’t know if people in St Andrews heard or not?!

Naturally I have been sewing. I am making cushions using the same William Morris pattern that I used  for my big green quilt. It has been good doing it in different colours. They are for my friend Dilly’s birthday.

I also made a quick rainbow for the window. I did the colours upside down, we shall see if anyone notices!

John has a new mission in life. He is off collecting old bricks from various beaches in the vicinity.

Each one depicts the name of the old brickworks where they were made – all now closed down and demolished long ago. So we have Inverkeithing, Burn Axe, Lochside and Blair Adam. It is quite the thing to collect these and some people make quite a feature of restoring them. John is going to build me a raised herb garden with them, and the wall will be very unusual and attractive. Because we are a bit restricted at the moment, we shall have to wait  before we venture further and so extend our collection. He is keeping quite fit, lugging them home.

I am getting quite fit as well, doing my adult ballet lessons with the Silver Swans from the Royal Ballet. I stand nice and tall in my proper pink shoes and plie and bend and point and flex – a thing to be done in the privacy of one’s own lounge I think. I have also tried hoola hooping, and as I had a go at Jo Wicks I felt terribly trendy following the nation in the latest fad. But to be honest there is nothing so good as a good walk, uphill and down, breathing deep the ocean air, right down into the capillaries of those precious lungs.

But now, it is time for lunch, and then back to ‘Lost Illusions’ by Honore Balzac.

It is a beautiful sunny day, but the sea is choppy and the white horses are flying on the froth. Two crows are swooping ahead of a flock of seagulls and the cold east wind is just spoiling the party.

Be safe everyone, and warm thoughts to you all.